top of page


Get ready to start listening! To organize by book, hover over "Episodes" in the tool bar above and look in the drop down menu. 

You can also listen directly on SpotifyiTunes, and every major podcasting app. Thanks so much for listening and I hope you all enjoy.

EPISODE 20 : Goblet of Fire (Chapter 24-26)
w/ Melissa Anelli

Schubes speaks with FREAKING NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLING AUTHOR, Melissa Anelli! Topics include Harry's refusal to ask questions, Book Krum's dominance over Movie Krum, JK's sneak jokes, Polite Sassy Dumbeldore, Myrtle's dark turn, Ron being a seer, Percy being worse than Voldemort, Hogwarts allowing death, Hermione's botched research, and more!

EPISODE 19 : Goblet of Fire (Chapter 23)
w/ Vanessa Zolton & Roasianna Halse Rojas

First, Rosianna Halse Rojas returns to discuss the Yule Ball. Topics include Dobby's dope socks, Hermione's smart play with teeth, Krum's character development, Snape vendetta against bushes, and Roger “The Trifecta” Davies.

Then, Vanessa Zoltan of Harry Potter and the Sacred Text joins to FURTHER DISCUSS the Yule Ball. Topics include Wizard dermatology, The Weird Sisters, Voldemort's hatred of finals, the start of Ron’s crush, Warrior Hermione, PERCY, Harry and Ron: the worst dates, and Parvathi saving the day.

EPISODE 18 : Goblet of Fire (Chapter 20-22)
w/ Roasianna Halse Rojas

Rosianna Halse Rojas returns to discuss three more chapters of GoF! Topics include Pomfrey reaching her breaking point, Krooked Karkarov, Harry's incredibly lame burn, the largest subtweet in history, Ron's improved joke game, Crouch Vs Bagman heating up, and how the screenwriter of the 4th film royally screwed up.

EPISODE 17 : Goblet of Fire (Chapter 17-19)
w/ Roasianna Halse Rojas

Schubes is joined by Rosianna Halse Rojas (@papertimelady) to discuss wide range of topics about Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Topics include the complications of the Goblet's contract, Petty Hedwig, Hermione being good at everything, the character arc of the skrewts, Snape being unforgivable , phallic Olivander, Savage Sirius, Sassy Dumbledore, The Great Toast Debate, and MIKE LEARNING JK HATES (writing about) QUIDDITCH!

EPISODE 16 : Goblet of Fire (Chapter 14-16)
w/ Jake Kilroy

Jake Kilroy returns to discuss the meatier parts of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire! Topics include Mike's Latin classes in high school paying off, I Destroy as I Speak: the band, STOAOOFMCACFACITLS, social commentary on textbooks, disgust towards the casting choices of the movies, and more! Most importantly, Jake defends the two things Schubes hates most: Dobby and QUIDDITCH.

EPISODE 15 : Goblet of Fire (Chapter 11-13)
w/ Jake Kilroy

Jake Kilroy joins to discuss a far less problematic section of Goblet of Fire! Topics include Percy rants, Malfoy rants, Destructive Ron in need of an intervention, Patrick Swayze, Snape being a dick, no one loving Prof. Vector, and more!

EPISODE 14 : Goblet of Fire (Chapter 6-10)
w/ David Tres

David Tres, host of Contemporary Cage, is back to discuss arguably the worst section of the entire Harry Potter series. Topics include Cold Blooded JK Rowling, Douchey Mr. Diggory, a bountiful harvest of quidditch rants, Jim Dale's awful voices, Finding Nemo Leprechauns, Momma Weasley yelling at Percy, and more!

EPISODE 13 : Goblet of Fire (Chapter 1-5)
w/ David Tres

David Tres joins to discuss out least favorite part of the series, the beginning of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire! Topics include nipple snakes, Sensitive Voldemort, Wizard Playstation, Bill not being cool, Pigwidgeon being a bad name, and MORE QUIDDITCH RANTS. The entire 150 pages discussed in this episode and next can be summarized in four bullet points, so these episodes are LOADED with sass.

EPISODE 12 : Prisoner of Azkaban (Ch.19-22)
w/ Julia Schifini

Julia Schifin of Spirits Podcast returns to talk the ending of Book 3! Topics include Wizard CDSI, ranking the best Hogwarts profs, pet lions, Roman mythology, 80s montages, SASSY DUMBLEDORE, Savage Hermione, and more!

EPISODE 11 : Prisoner of Azkaban (Ch.17-18)
w/ Julia Schifini

Schubes is joined by Julia Schifini of Spirits Podcast to discuss two of the most dramatic, plot twist filled chapters in the Harry Potter series! Topics include the awesomeness of Madame Pomfrey, Sirius Black's melodramatic antics, racism against werewolves, silvery orbs, and more!

EPISODE 10 : Prisoner of Azkaban (Ch.13-16)
w/ Jordan Edwards

Schubes is joined by Jordan Edwards of LeakyCon to wonder WHY THE HECK DIDN'T HOGWARTS SHUT DOWN WHEN RON WAS ALMOST MURDERED BY SIRIUS BLACK, analyze many confusing aspects of Quidditch, discuss one thing Mike ACTUALLY LIKES about Quidditch, make patronus innuendos, and more!

EPISODE 9 : Prisoner of Azkaban (Ch. 9-12)
w/ Ashley Strongarm

Ashley Strongarm joins the podcast to discuss a very troubling section of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Topics include A GLORIOUS QUIDDITCH RANT, the carelessness of wizards, the convenience of Sirius' backstory, SASSY MCGONAGALL, the name disparity in brooms, and more!

EPISODE 8 : Prisoner of Azkaban (Ch. 6-8)
w/ Amanda McLoughlin

Amanda McLoughlin is back to continue discussing the first third of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban! Topics include bad-ass Hermione being the best Hermione, Prof Trelawney being the worst teacher of all time, Quidditch being the antithesis to team sports, and Lupin being a total boss.

EPISODE 7 : Prisoner of Azkaban (Ch. 1-7)
w/ Amanda McLoughlin

In this episode, Amanda McLoughlin (co-host of @SpiritsPodcast) returns to discuss the beginning of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban! Topics include Aunt Marge being a worthless character, Cornelius Fudge being sketchy, Harry being the least smooth person alive, bird end-trails, the atrocity that is pumpkin juice, and more!

EPISODE 6 : Chamber of Secrets (Ch.14-18)
w/ Sydney Adams

Sydney Adams returns to discuss the end of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets! Discussion topics include Tom Riddle being an idiot, Dumbledore being a supreme liar, and Gabourey Sidibe having a great wizard name. Thanks for listening, and I hope you enjoy!

EPISODE 5 : Chamber of Secrets (Ch.11-13)
w/ Sydney Adams

In the snarkiest episode of Potterless yet, host Mike Schubert is joined by Sydney Adams aka Pastatute from Vine! This episode takes the cake not only for most tangents, but also most laughs. Listen along as these two discuss the convenience of the plot, how Skele-gro is the worst name ever, and why being a student at Hogwarts would actually be the worst thing in the world.

[DISCLAIMER: There is a brief audio pause halfway through, don't be alarmed]

EPISODE 4 : Chamber of Secrets (Ch. 7-10)
w/ Amanda McLoughlin

Amanda McLoughlin, co-host of Spirits Podcast, is back to discuss more about the Chamber of Secrets! Topics this week include how Lockhart is Guy Fieri, an intense Quidditch rant, and "subverting the normal gender interactions of females in bathrooms."

EPISODE 3 : Chamber of Secrets (Ch. 1-6)
w/ Amanda McLoughlin

Host Mike Schubert is joined by Amanda McLoughlin, to discuss the beginning of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Discussion topics include anti-Gilderoy Lockhart tirades, a questioning of Malfoy's bullying methods, and raising concerns of whether or not Hogwarts is a safe place for teenagers. The episode is filled with laughter and good times, so hopefully you enjoy!

EPISODE 2 : Sorcerer's Stone (Ch. 9-17)
w/ Charlotte Dow

Charlotte Dow joins to discuss the second half of Book 1 in the series! Highlights include the revelation that this book is just a Scooby Doo episode, talks of how "Giggle Juice" is the wizard word for alcohol, a dive into Malfoy's awful bullying, and more!

EPISODE 1 : Sorcerer's Stone (Ch. 1-8)
w/ Alex Moothart

Alex Moothart joins host Mike Schubert as they cover the first half (Ch. 1-8) of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's/Philosopher's Stone. They discuss how awful the first movie is in comparison to the book, the psychopathic nature of the Dursely family, and how this book "solidifies that true love exists." Many other topics are discussed, and silly plot holes are ridiculed. It's an episode filled with laughs, and hopefully you enjoy.

EPISODE 0 : Everything I Knew Before Reading the Books

In this intro episode, host Mike Schubert describes why he never read the Harry Potter books as a child and the backlash he received because of it. He then describes everything he knows about the series from the 4.5 movies he has seen before he embarks on his journey from Platform 9 1/2 to read every Harry Potter novel.

bottom of page