EPISODE 64 : Deathly Hallows (Ch. 11)
w/ Bayana Davis and Robyn Ravenclaw

The lovely ladies from #WizardTeam join to discuss more of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows! Topics include redemption arcs, Pius Thiccness, stealing magic, moving the goalposts, Lupin’s self hate, Wizard Sex Ed, Star Wolf, All CAPS HARRY, JK Rowling’s race relations, Fireball, The Pontiac Bandit, Draymond Green, and more! Also, this episode has A RAP BATTLE IN IT. 

 

Thanks to out sponsors! 

TAVOUR: Get $10 in credit after a $25+ purchase with code "potterless"

STITCH FIX: Get 25% off your box when you keep all the items when signing up at stitchfix.com/potterless

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE RAP BATTLE

 

--LYRICS--

HARRY (Nathan Cox):

 

Easy Galleons

It's about to be a Wolfsbane summer

You know we gotta cut the heads off these basilisks right?

Watch out it's a full moon

The year 7 student

The Gryffindor joint

Watch the body change

Voldemort aside

Boy who lived aside

You tell my crew you're fully down to ride

You knocked up Tonks and now you're bout to up and leave her side

You're a wolf not a lion, that explains your lack of pride

Don't have a baby boy if your ass isn't ready

Even if he has your traits you should still be there for Teddy

Take it from me, I promise he'll be missing his pa,

Both your paws, did you read the wedding clause?

For better or worse, what if your baby's in danger?

You're gettin' schooled by Potter you got fooled by Granger

With the fake wolf howl you went running down the hill

Now you runnin still for a selfish thrill

You're transformed into a father with these arcane bars

Come catch a few from your boy with the lightning scar

Without you our crew will get overpowered?

I'd rather we be overpowered than keep a deadbeat coward.

So just tuck your tail Remus, run your ass back home

Me, Hermione and Ron will finish this mission alone

and keep my father's name out your mouth

Take care of that baby Remusssss

Y'all don't fuck with a parseltongue on the track

YEEUUGGHHHH

LUPIN (Mike Schubert/Kelly Beckman):

 

Where’s my wolf pack at?
Yeah, ‘cause it’s about to be a Potter slaughter. 
Sit down, Harry. Let me Tell you what’s up. 

Look, I just want to help I don’t need your shit, Harry. 
Is it a full moon? Cause its about to get scary. 
I’m a werewolf son, I’ve heard it all before.
I know who I am, a lionhearted Gryffindor. 
You don’t know the truth of our tragic love story, 
I’m not Sirius or James, I’m not out here seeking glory, 
I’ve condemned them to poverty, a life of inequality, 
A robbery, atrocity, and now to be fatherly, 
The best thing I can do is to leave them alone, 
by protecting you I protect them, and I can atone, 
In Dumbledore I trust, he left you with a task, 
And bringing down You-Know-Who is the only way peace will last.
I’m double your age and triple your wisdom, 
So swallow your pride and let’s get shit done.
Calling me selfish shows your ignorance, 
Say I’m a coward again, you’ll see belligerence.
I watched you slack off and almost fail all your classes, 
You and Ron should be thankful Hermione’s saving your asses. 
Your squad? I have expertise that it’s clear they lack, 
What’cha gonna do against Fenrir Greyback?
When you face death eaters, who do you think you’re harming, 
In school for 6 years and all you know is disarming?
Dumbledore gave you this mission, but you’re not that skilled
Don’t think you’re hot shit just ‘cause you didn’t get killed.